I'm goign to give it to you

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 00:56:48 GMT

Okay, well. Back in california. I called Krystal last night, she told me that her and dixon broke it off. It's good to hear, but sad to know that i'm back in california. We spent new years eve , together only for like 20 minutes. She gave me a hug and a kiss and we said goodbye, she gave me one of her old scarves , and her teddy. Later on New years day, I came by at like 3. She was talking on the phone with dixon. So I decided to drive back home , and i hung out with Daleigh , and Eric. My "parents" are making me cut my hair, fuck them. I like it the way it is. Okay, so they start to ruin my fucking life, and now.. They want to ruin my fucking appearance.

Me: (coming down for breakfast) Hey, what did you guys do over the break?
"MOM": What is up with your pants, are they tooo small?
Me: no, they fit just perfect.
"MOM": your hair is long, maybe you should cut it.
Me: no , it's okay.
"MOM": we'll go tomorrow
Me: NO, i like it the way it is
"MOM": we'll get you some bigger pants too
Me: STOP, I SAID THEY FIT, I LIKE MYHAIR
"MOM": no they dont, look at them!
Me: SHUT UP , IT'S HOW I DRESS.

Dal said he is going to come here and he gets to meet my "rents". Whatever.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 00:32:12 GMT

i'm in washington. Yes. Daleigh through a party last night, It lasted for so long. Probally around 8 till 4 in the morning. I got my liscence too. That is the main reason I am suppose to be here. So i hear, that california is a hard place to drive in. Anyways. I'm suppose to go home on the first, I'm staying longer. I just hate it there that much. No friends, no one. I have been seeing krystal, lately. On Tuesday, and Wensday, and Last night. I picked her up. We drove around the town, It was cool. She mentioned something about it in your xanga entry, I was reading, I smiled.

"donnie came by my house again Um, we sat in his car in his driveway. we just talked, ya know? it was fun. Quiet, and simple , Leigh came out , and was all, "WATCHA KIDS DOIN' MAKING OUT!?" Naw, we weren't. We didn't even hold hands. my back was leaned against the door, and my legs on his lap, it was fun, comfterable. I like it like that, I like how i feel just so normal around Donnie. Ya know.. it's like.. A feeling i cant describe, ..Alex explained it once before.. It's like everything is right, everything is how it's suppose to be, everyone, and everything is in its proper place, it just felt normal, and calm.. the way life should feel like..
I have been searching for that feeling. I cannot name it because it does not have a name, no word's connotation matches it. It is sublimity, and peace, it's feeling like you've reached a plain. To be chill, and entirely, completely comfortable, where everything in the universe is in place and you're part of something that has been defined. I used to get it all the time, now nothing is bringing it to me, and I've been searching for it in everything, and today I'm looking for it in seeing my best friend.
bestfriends are one of a kind eh? Too bad he is going back to california, i wish this would last forever.. Cause Donnie...is my bestfriend and my love. ♥"

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 05:18:24 GMT

What the fuck. So many things have happened. I think I can just about cry. Scott my brother, he's my same age. Such a loser. I'm going to bremerton on the 17th. Coming back here in January. my "parents" are strict. I cant believe I'm in california.

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 20:07:12 GMT

Crystal i love her so much, yet I cant get her, is it that hard? I want her badly, i set a romantic night for her, She admits, it was romance, and in the moment, she kissed me back as i kissed her. Couldn't she just let go of the boyfriend she has now and be with me? Okay, so i'm being emotional for a girl. This girl i've wanted for so long. So so long.

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 02:31:29 GMT

I need a girlfriend.

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 17:44:03 GMT

I had sex last night. May I say, One of the best I had in a while. She was great, I forgot her name though. Oh well.

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 02:46:24 GMT

i'm so horny

This sucks.

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 23:33:42 GMT

May I say, I have no clue what school I am going to be goin to, Hell, I probally won't be going to school, and End up on the record deal, Hopefully that dream will once come true. I am playing tomorrow night at this kids house. I've been to seattle so many times, But this is so new for me, You know? Hey, well, It's better than going to a foster home. I guess. Yesturday when saying bye to everyone, I thought everyone would be there. It was unfortunate. Everyone, as in. The one person I wanted to be there, Wasn't there. Hopefully i'll visit some of my friends back down there this week, Like Daleigh promised me. I'm down at Jesika's house at the moment. I just had to leave that apartment, Dal and Eric are so sick to hang out with now. Well people. I just thought I would make and update to those who were wondering what was going on, and Lyn, I really miss you.

Hey, hey, party.

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 00:20:30 GMT

Party, I saw Crystal there, it was cool getting drunk with her, Dal told she passed out on the way home, poor her. She's a cutie. I wish I can get back with her, but I got a girlfriend that I really like, and of course, I don't think she likes me. Daleigh wrote in his journal about the party. You can read it, I dont feel like typing. Anyways, I think i'll go on and be bored.

Damn.

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 23:18:46 GMT

u r narcotic: Because she is a girl singer.
torn inside xxx: she sucks. no talent.
u r narcotic: Okay.
torn inside xxx: and i hate people that wear things that say "punk" on it. cuz it's annoying
u r narcotic: She's a new age punk
u r narcotic: So what
torn inside xxx: and she's wearing a shirt that says it in her video
u r narcotic: Theirs alot where that comes from.
torn inside xxx: i know
torn inside xxx: but..
torn inside xxx: blah
u r narcotic: New Age punks piss me off too
u r narcotic: WIth their bracelettes
u r narcotic: And their "hardcore" black nail polish.
torn inside xxx: haha
torn inside xxx: i have RED NAIL POLISH
torn inside xxx: but i do wear bracelets, i have 80 but i wear about 5
u r narcotic: And those kids walking around with band t's.
u r narcotic: Thinking their so all that, since they flicker off with clothes from Hot Topic.
torn inside xxx: hey hey hey, i wear band t shirts. but yea.
torn inside xxx: hahaha hot topic -chuckles-
u r narcotic: They should get their own style.
torn inside xxx: yup
u r narcotic: Instead of having hot topic provide their style.

Yeah, Stupid new age punks. Anyways, I got guitar lessons today. My teacher is going to help me make tabs and shit for a song I made, I'm happy for that.

What is new?

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 01:42:33 GMT

Um, yeah. Dal picked me up from liz's Party. I guess it was okay, Everyone was suprised I had sex, I mean, what the hell, their so young. I'm glad I got you guys Eric and Dal. They wanted to play 7 minutes of heaven. When I got into the closet with Sam, She was all, "We're not going to have sex are we?" I'm all, " I got a condom, if you wan't." She's such a school-girl. I just licked her boobs. Because I got a girlfriend and all. NO BEER. What the hell kind of party is no beer? Anyways, we all slept outside in a tent, There was, 2 tents, one with 4 boys and 4 girls. The other with 2 boys, 4 girls. I was one of the two boys. Since Lyn was there, I guess she still had 'Feelings' For me. I don't mean to be flirting with her, or cheating on Christina, But I held her all night long.

ya

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 02:28:29 GMT

I got a new journal, Because I realized just now, Xanga is butt.